7:18 PM....

and I'm already in bed.  Yep, dinner is put away, kids are in bed, my contacts are out, and my benadryl and melatonin have been ingested.  I'm guessing that I am going to be in dreamland sometime after Happy Endings and before Law & Order: SVU.

There's laundry in the washing machine, but I'm ignoring it.
My family room looks like a tornado (aka the Beast) went through it, and I'm ignoring it.
My counters are dirty, and I'm ignoring it.
The sink is full, and I'm ignoring it.

Why?

Because it's been this kind of day:

Yep, it's official, I'm losing it.

It's been a long couple days.  My frustration level on a scale of 1-10 has been consistently at a 9 over the past couple days.  Cy chose to pee in the wood chips on the playground yesterday, Princess won't stop talking and asking me "Why?", and the Beast is in a throwing stage.  I've gotten pretty good at dodging flying objects like the TV remote, wooden blocks, and remote control cars.  I dragged all three kids to two stores yesterday where they repeatedly asked me for candy and other crap.  Any effort I make to clean up is immediately destroyed by the Beast.  I've been battling a migraine for two days now.  There's a painful bump on the top of my head that actually woke me up in the middle of the night, and I can't even remember hitting my head.  I worked late last night and then got up early this morning to work some more.  I'm tired and just plain done.

So earlier this evening while I was in the kitchen attempting to get dinner started and some muffins made, the Beast came and started pushing on my legs, pulling at my pants, and screaming "Milck".  I got him his milk and then I started to unload the dishwasher.  I noticed my mistake with the milk WHEN I went to put a stack of plates in the REFRIGERATOR.   A STACK OF PLATES IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

Click-Clack.  That was the sound of me punching my time card.  I'm officially off the clock.  I'm going to bed with a positive attitude that tomorrow WILL be better.

Tomorrow I will tackle my messy house.
Tomorrow I will exercise.
Tomorrow my head will FINALLY stop hurting.
Tomorrow Princess will ask "Why?" one less time then she did today.
Tomorrow my son will NOT pee in an inappropriate place.
Tomorrow, the Beast will be nice and obedient and he won't throw anything at my head.

Well, a girl can dream right?

The Beast

Have I told you about the Beast lately?  The Beast turned 2 right before Christmas.  He chose to celebrate his birthday by throwing, not 1, not 2, but 5 screaming, writhing on the floor, fits all before 8:30 in the morning.  Oh and did I mention he woke up at 6:30 am? Well he did, and I don't know how it works at your house but here 6:30 is freaking early.

It was a rough day but I think it was a pretty fitting way to usher in the Terrible Two's, which he actually started about 8 months ago.  We had a treat when our good friends the Carr's brought over birthday and Christmas on the Beast's actual birthday.

After Christmas when all the Bergys were still in town we had another celebration at Gramma's house.

What isn't pictured above?  The pink and purple grocery cart/stroller that Aunt Sue got him and the set of tools that Aunt Teri stuck in it to make it seem more manly.  HE LOVES THEM, the cart and the tools.  He uses the drill as a gun and today I caught him trying to climb into the cart so Princess could push him around.

Thank you everyone for helping us celebrate his 2nd birthday.  I guess this is one of the benefits of having your birthday around Christmas, chances are he'll always be surrounded by family and lots of them!

I would be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to Aunt Amy and Uncle Matt for their awesome wrapping job (Pictured above).  Want to know the secret to a perfect wrapping job?  Target bag and tons of tape.  

And because I am now a Instagram addict (thanks to my new Iphone, YOU ROCK DAVE! follow me, mrsbergy, you know you want too) here are some more photos I took of the celebrations.  Instagram style....

Beast I love you, more than you'll probably ever know.  You drive me crazy and then you melt my heart with those big blue/green eyes.  Anytime I want to get something done you're at my feet screaming Momma and pushing on me until I give in and pick you up.  Then you grab me by the cheeks, plant a big kiss on my lips, lay your head on my shoulder, and remind me that dishes can wait but you will not be 2 forever.  

You love Princess, you tolerate Cy, and you adore Daddy.  You and I, we're buddies, amigos.  I couldn't imagine sending the older kids to school and not having you to hang around with.  We go for walks, do laundry, make treats, learn our ABC's with Elmo, and travel to imaginary places with The Cat in the Hat. 

I love you Bubba's!  Here's to another year of chair climbing, door unlocking, stove playing, knife throwing, face slapping, kiss giving, water splashing, milk drinking, cheeto eating, and technology stealing.

Happy Birthday Beast!  

my new standard

On Wednesday Princess came into the office where I was working, to report that the Beast was taking things off the Christmas tree.  He's been doing this pretty consistently since we put the tree up.  He thinks it's a game, I think it's annoying.  The bottom of our tree is completely naked.

I told Princess, "Listen, he's not on top of the stove and he's not pulling out knives.  Leave him alone, he's fine."

This is my new parenting standard.

No stove...

No knives....

No worries.

Updates on the Beast

*I've started timeout with the Beast.  I turn his booster seat to face the wall and then I buckle him in for 2 minutes.  Afterwards, I tell him why I put him in timeout and then I make him tell me, or whomever he's hurt, that he is sorry. (not really talking yet, so I'm teaching him to stroke the side of the person's face as his way of saying he's sorry)

So far, he's not a fan.  Which means, that it's WORKING!  Yay!  Today, I put him in it once (for hitting Princess) and then I only had to threaten him with timeout and and he would straighten right up. 

*He PEED in the TOILET today!  No, I am not officially potty training him.  He's only 22 months old and he doesn't really talk yet.  I prefer it if my kids can actually tell me when they have to go to the bathroom instead of just guessing.  However, I do start putting my kids on the toilet at around 18 months so they start getting used to it.  So, tonight before I put the Beast in the shower with Princess I put him on the potty.  I told him to go pee pee (which he totally understands.  He likes to wander around, after his bath/shower, in his birthday suit and push out little pee puddles for me to find) and he did!  I started dancing and singing!  I was SO proud of him.  He got all excited too and started pushing out as much pee as he could.  It was awesome!

* The Beast can be quite beastly.  But, he can be SO sweet.  He gives the best kisses.  He loves to snuggle especially when he wakes up in the morning, wakes up from his nap, and right before he goes to bed.  He cracks me up all day long.  He makes the funniest faces and gets in the goofiest moods.  He LOVES his daddy.  He loves to GO, GO, GO!  When I am getting ready for the day he screeches at me until it's time to go and practically pushes me out the door.  If you are at the computer he will crawl up on your lap and insist that you put You Tube on so that he can watch Baby Einstein and other funny videos.  He wants to be just like the big kids.  He likes to take showers like them, he tries to put on his own shoes, he wants to get himself dressed, he likes to carry his plate to the table, and he chases Princess and Cy around just trying to keep up.  He melts my heart with those beautiful green eyes and long eyelashes.    I am so grateful that he is a part of our family. 

Cy turns 7: Part 1

Cy's birthday ended up being WAY more hectic than I thought it would be.  Not only was it his birthday, but he also had a soccer game AND it was the first day of General Conference (LOVE GC.  It seriously fills my soul and helps me charter the course of my life through the next 6 months until we have it again).  I thought everything would move along pretty smoothly.  I was prepped and prepared for everything, or so I thought....

On Wednesday, Dave had 2 surprise root canals that were started.  They told him he needed to come back on Saturday to finish the job.  His first appointment was scheduled during the soccer game which I was seriously stressing about.  We have to park pretty far away from where the games are held and I was trying to figure out how to pack 3 chairs, an umbrella, an umbrella stand, a diaper bag, 4 water bottles and 3 kids across 2 parking lots and 4 soccer fields BY MYSELF when Dave called to tell me that his appointment had been moved to first thing in the morning.  HALLELUJAH!  The appointment was going to take place during the first session of GC, but I figured that wouldn't be a problem.  I had been very proactive and made Conference Packets for Cy and Princess.  I had printed up pages of Conference Bingo, bought M&M's and Skittles for bingo markers, and bought prizes for the winners.

I imagined a serene enjoyable experience watching conference.  I envisioned Cy and Princess happily playing Bingo and coloring pages out of their packets, the Beast quietly stacking his blocks and playing with his toys while I sat on the couch, folding laundry, absorbing the good Word of God.

I was wrong.

Perhaps, I was being a bit naive.  Perhaps, starting out the day with sugar laden donuts (Cy's breakfast of choice) wasn't the best idea I've ever had. 

You can read what the Beast did during the first session of Conference here.  Cy and Princess weren't much better.  They had spent the half an hour prior to Conference starting, coloring in their coloring books so that by the time Conference actually started they were stir crazy and hyper.  Oh, SO hyper.  The sugar from the donuts had kicked in ten-fold by then.  Add onto that the excitement of Cy's birthday and these two were LITERALLY bouncing off the couch and the walls. 

I solved this problem by breaking out the Conference Packets and the Conference Bingo.  I told the kids they could eat their candy markers once they had won a round of Bingo AND they also got to pick a candy treat out of a grab bag when they won.   What?  You're supposed to fight sugar with sugar, right?!?!  Nothing like the hair of the dog that bit ya...if ya know what I mean.  Conference Bingo was a SUCCESS (except for the parts when the Beast would kick their boards, displacing all of their markers, and take off with the bag full of their candy markers "laughing all the way, ha ha ha!").

In an effort to keep the Beast occupied I gave him his own bag of candy to munch on, but that wasn't good enough.  Oh no.  The Beast had to have whatever the other two had and he had to have it NOW!

After each winning a game of Bingo and picking their prizes the kids wanted to start coloring their Conference Packets.  Cy got right to work and was left alone to color in peace.  Princess was not so lucky.  You see, she had picked a Ring Pop out of the grab bag as her Bingo prize.  The Beast wanted a Ring Pop REALLY bad.  I wouldn't give him one.  I didn't think he needed anymore sugar than what he already had.  When he realized that I wasn't going to budge the Beast followed Princess around screaming at her like a banshee and tormenting her mercilessly.  He kept stealing her crayons, ripping her papers out of her hands, pulling her hair and trying to snatch the Ring Pop right out of her mouth.  She tried to seek safety at the kitchen table to no avail.

She finally finished the Ring Pop and being the "generous" sister that she is, she gave the Beast the plastic part of the Ring Pop.  The Beast was thrilled!  He popped that plastic in his mouth, stopped, ripped it out, looked at it, noticed the candy was gone, gave Princess the dirtiest look an almost 2 year old can muster (he's actually pretty good at the dirty looks.  My sister-in-law Teri recently told Dave, "I'm not too comfortable with the looks that the Beast is giving me."  Ya, he can be pretty intimidating.), threw the plastic part on the floor and then proceeded to scream and cry for the last 20 minutes of Conference. 

So much for absorbing the good Word of God. 

To be continued......



Coming up next in the Cy turns 7 Series:

Lunch, Alarms, and a Present...Oh My!

You put me in the dryer?!?!

• JAY (to Mitchell): No kid wants a sibling. I mean, Claire hated you so much, she stuck you in a dryer when you were two.
• MITCHELL: You put me in the dryer?
• CLAIRE: I did, but it wasn't because I hated you. Reverend Marcy said that it wouldn't run with a kid inside it, and I knew it would. (Beat.) I was right.
• ..........
• MITCHELL (interjecting): How long was I in that dryer? Because -- is that why I'm afraid of tumbling? (Angry.) I had to quit gymnastics, Claire!
• CAMERON(outraged): A childhood without tumbling?! (To Jay.) You knew this and just stood by and did nothing???!!! 

-Modern Family "When Good Kids Go Bad"

For the record, no one has ever PUT (he climbs in there all on his own) the Beast in the dryer.  Not that I know of, that is.....

My Son The Acrobat

On Wednesday the Beast fell off the bench at soccer practice. Luckily, it was onto the grass. But the grass was pretty dry and brittle, so he scratched up one side of his face pretty good.

On Thursday he fell off the bookcase that we have behind the couch. He thought it was fun to get on top of the bookcase, and do a belly flop onto the couch. He was having a good time until he missed the couch and did a belly flop onto the floor while banging his face into the ottoman. He cut his lip, there was blood.

On Friday I took him off the kitchen table 5 times before 10:00 am. I went into the bathroom. I was gone 5 seconds when I heard a thump and a scream. He had fallen off the kitchen table and hit his head on the tile floor. He was pretty distraught. He hit his forehead pretty good and is still sporting a pretty good bruise there.

Oh, but don't you worry, he got back on the horse kitchen table later that night.

Pretty sure I have 3 new gray hairs. One for each day. Is that even possible?

Sigh....

Best Idea Ever

I spend a good hour, to an hour and a half EVERYDAY dropping off and picking up my kids from school.  That is a long time for this little guy to be stuck in his carseat.

We had to make a quick trip to the dollar store one day before we picked up Princess from half day kindergarten, when I spotted a bag of Dum Dum's.  I snatched those up faster then you could say sugar high.

I keep the bag in the little pocket of the driver's side door and when the screaming gets a little too loud for my ears, I pull out a magical Dum Dum.

Ahh, sweet sweet silence.

I Need Beast Insurance

I let the Beast out of my site for under a minute.  Less. Than. Sixty. Seconds.  And this is what he was able to pull off:

Have I ever told you how bad my eyesight is?  Seriously, I'm like 3 points away from being legally blind and collecting disability.  OK, so maybe it's not that bad, but for those of you who know vision lingo my right eye is at 12.something and my left eye is following along at 11.75 or something ridiculous like that.  I CANNOT function without contacts or glasses.  It is simply not an option.  I can't drive, do the dishes, the laundry, cook, or even read a book.  If you ever catch me trying to read one last email before bed on my phone without my glasses, you will find me with one eye closed (so I don't go cross-eyed and start seeing double) and my nose pressed against the screen.  It's pretty pathetic. 

The other downside to the broken glasses, beside their absolute necessity is the expense.  Being this blind ain't cheap folks.  It costs lots of money to be this near-sighted.  I think if Dave knew how much money he would've ended up dropping on eye care, he might of washed his hands of me.  But hey, he has a fake tooth that I'm sure one day will cost us a load in dental care.  We can't all be perfect. 

So, for now, until I figure out the repair/replacement of my ritzy glasses I will be sporting the taped look a la Harry Potter, except off to the side instead of in the middle.  Oh, where is Hermione Granger and her perfect spells and crafty wand when you need her?

Oh, and he also drew on the back of my shirt with a purple crayon.


Thanks Beast, thanks a lot.

My View From The Lou

I'm back from a glorious trip to Greer, AZ.  It was rainy and cold.  There was thunder and lightening.  Dave and I watched movies (The Adjustment Bureau and Source Code, both highly recommend), ate deliciously yummy and fattening food, and spent the majority of our time listening to the rain while, ahem, snuggling in our hotel room. 

A post documenting our trip is forthcoming.

In the meantime, enjoy my view from The Lou.

It seems like no matter what I do; lock the door, yell, scream, bar it with a chair, somehow these little minions always find a way to break in when I am trying to use the facilities.

I did make an important discovery.  The Beast is terrified of cotton balls.  You see, his favorite past time while I am, ahem, incapacitated, is to investigate and destroy everything that he can get his grubby little hands on.  He found a bag of cotton balls and dumped them all over the floor in front of the door.  He kept wanting to leave the bathroom, but he wouldn't get near the cotton balls.  Cy came in to pick them up and then as a joke, just as the Beast was making his escape, put some back on the floor.  Do you see the look of pure terror on his face?  Shame on Cy, but I have to admit, it was pretty funny and he totally got what he deserved. 
 

I've never seen a 20 month old that can hold a grudge like the Beast.  Cy kept trying to say sorry and the Beast wasn't having any of it!

Yes, these pictures were taken with my phone.

Yes, they were taken while I was using the facilities. 

Yes, I use my phone while I'm on The Lou.

What?

You know you do it too!

Washing Your Mouth Out With Soap

Apparently, soap is NOT a good snack. 

The Beast had already has his bath for the night, but decided he wasn't quite clean enough.  So, when I was making dinner he jumped in the shower with Princess.  While in the shower, he decided to really scrub all of his nooks and crevices (including his mouth) with a buddy bar, aka soap.  When I saw him covered in sudsy bubbles I thought, "Ahh...how cute!"  Then when I saw him making yucky faces and trying to get the soap out of his mouth with his already soapy hands, I thought, like any good mom would, "Picture Time!". 

While I was off fetching the camera, the soap proved too much for the Beast and he promptly threw up in the bathtub.  Did that stop me from at least trying to get one picture in before I came to his rescue?  You bet it didn't!  Hey, these moments are what memories are made of.  When he gets older I'm going to tell this story to his friends, girlfriends, and eventually his wife.  Inevitably, as he wises up, he will probably point out that I let him wallow in vomit all for the sake of one lousy, blurry picture.  You know what I say to that?

Damn straight.

That's what good mom's are made of!

FYI:  Damn is part of the "holy trinity" of words that my mom would utter on an frequent occasional basis.  Thus, making it a perfectly acceptable word for mom's to use. 

BWLC - A Exercise in Futility?

Gosh I hope not!

BWLC stands for Bergeson Weight Loss Challenge.  It's a contest we started as a family at the end of June, beginning of July.  All those who wanted to compete put money in the pot (except for the Young'un, who was either too broke or too moral to "bet" on her weight loss.  Good for us; she's dropping weight like Mary Kate Olsen, Bad for her; she didn't contribute, so she can't win the moolah!)

The contest is 3 months long, so we're already a month in.  The finish line is the Young'un's wedding in October, to the stud standing behind her.

I was a mess in July.  I would do good for a few days and then I would binge on everything yummy.  Plus we had two birthdays and I was having a hard time getting through the day without my drink of choice .

I recommitted at the beginning of this month and have been doing South Beach.  So far so good, but man I miss carbs.  I just saw a recipe for Salted No Bake Caramel Cookies.  I was SO freaking close to running into the kitchen and making them ON THE SPOT!  I really, truly had to restrain myself and trust me when I say that I am making a list of everything I want to make, or places I want to go after this diet is OVER! 

So far, I'm down 5 pounds.  I would like to lose 5 to 10 more.  (Dave says 5, I say 10)  Honestly, my true motivator is the money.  Just ask me about the beauty contest I entered for scholarship money.  I got 1st runner-up and 750 buckaroos.  Would I have done that normally?  No way in hell.  Involve money?  I'm in!
 
I'm pretty content with how I look right now.  Sure I would like to get more tone, but who wouldn't.  I've been working on that too, but this contest isn't about muscle definition, it's about weight loss and I've got some serious competitors that I'm going up against.

So wish me luck.  Dave and I need a new lawn mower and a shed, so that the new mower doesn't get ruined by rain like our old one.  Seriously, look at our backyard:

It's a freaking jungle back there.  If I let the Beast play out there I'm pretty sure he would get lost.......hmmm.......sorry visions of a desert baby raised by lizards made me lose my train of thought. 

So as you can see we are in desperate need of a lawn mower.  Pray for me (or Dave, the odds are definitely in our favor since we're both in the contest), send positive weight loss thoughts my way and I will continue to do my best to stay away from bad carbs and sugar.

This sucks soooo bad.

How much longer?

Flying

The Beast was LOVING it!

Mud

Last week we had a few days of cool weather, which is actually kind of shocking for Hotter than Hades, Arizona.  When Cy got home from school I forced the kids outside to enjoy the beautiful weather before it ended and the hell that is summer sets in.  The kids asked if they could use the hose to put water in the dirt and make some mud to play in.  I bit back all of my OCD cleanliness tendencies and let them have at it and I am so glad I did.  They had a blast.

3rd child

This is what happens when you're the third child.  Snack time on the floor.  Who needs a dog when you have the Beast.

Scenes From A Sunday: Mother's Day Edition

Happy Mother's Day to me!  Luckily, this is not how my Mother's Day started, just how it ended.

The Beast had had enough of Mommy being the center of attention.

Yummy breakfast, great company, and PRESENTS!  Great way to start the day, if you ask me!

Dave and the kids made me breakfast.  Cy brought me a plate with a piece of toast on it that was smeared with about an inch of butter (he was in charge of buttering the toast).  10 minutes later he brought me one slice of bacon that he called steak.  I thought I was going to get my breakfast piece by piece and then Dave allowed me to come to the table.

Bacon.....yum!

The breakfast was fabulous and the presents weren't too bad either!  Princess was even willing to share her 3 Musketeers bar with me, but only share it, I couldn't have it all too myself.

After church everyone joined me for nap time on my bed.

Nap time with my new toy, a Ipod speaker dock that changes color.

After nap time we headed out to Grandma's house for a Mother's Day feast prepared by my sister-in-law Karen.  Karen makes it a point to not only spoil her mom on Mother's Day, but all of her sister's and me too.  The table's were beautifully set, the food lovingly prepared, and Karen wouldn't allow me to lift one finger.  It was FANTASTIC.  All the food was scrumptious but my favorite was the dessert...surprise, surprise.  Karen did Strawberry Shortcake with this to-die-for whipped cream.  She got the recipe by none other than Ms. Paula Dean.  I'm sure you can imagine how low-fat, and low-calorie it WAS NOT!  But boy was it delicious.   So good in fact that I helped myself to it twice.  YUM!

Gathered around the table.

Remnants of Karen's yummy Mother's Day meal.

Overall, it was a wonderful Mother's Day.  I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have to be a mom.  It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.  I am also very grateful for the examples of motherhood that I have in my life: my mom, my mother-in-law, my sister's, my sister-in-law's, and my friends.  You are all amazing mom's!  Happy Mother's Day!